@Jacob_Swift16: I put a life-size alien doll in my passenger seat for halloween and I've caught myself talking to it 3 times
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@sixfootcandy: I only had 3 goals in Monopoly as a kid: Dog game piece Boardwalk and Park Place. Steal your money when you go to the bathroom.
@junejuly12: Him: tell me about your longest relationship Me: *thinking furiously* does Windows 95 count?
@Brianhopecomedy: When someone rings the doorbell I say to my kids, "I think it's Santa Claus!" so I don't have to get up.