@Cheeseboy22

I put two pairs of cargo pants in my cargo pants pockets, just in case I need more cargo pants.

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@RickAaron

I have no idea what Steampunk is except that it must be healthier than Fried Punk.

@SeanEmeny

People who have wheels on their office chair, how do you get any work done?

@TheCiscoKidder

Me: It’ll just make mom grumpy, so don’t tell her that the dishwa…..

4 year old: MOM! DISHWASHER’S BROKEN!

@korryduke

Hey people with one syllable names…… Good job ruining the Happy Birthday song. Jerks

@daemonic3

[campfire]

And that’s when he realized… HE FORGOT TO ENABLE WIFI AND WATCHED 5 SEASONS USING HIS DATA PLAN

[everyone screams in terror]

@KatieBurnett

Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it

@NicestHippo

Mario is a game where you save a girl from the terrible fate of hanging with a dude who owns a castle

@twowitwowoo

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.