@robyn_vo: I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn't tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
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@caliraingirl: Everyone should have that "tester" first twitter account to screw up and learn from... You know, kinda like that first child you have.
@jctwritesstuff: [Speed Date] Me: Hi. Could you show me on this Venn Diagram where alcohol & donuts overlap in your daily life? Him: I.. Me: Too slow. NEXT!
@jimmytorosian: Me: That tree is impeckable "Don't you mean impeccable?" *cut to woodpecker with a broken beak* Me: No. Also how did you pick up on that?