I really want to snuggle and watch a movie with my boyfriend.
Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

You Might Also Like


I just “shaved “both my legs with the little plastic cap still on the razor and didn’t notice until I was “finished” with the second leg.

I just scraped shaving cream off my legs like ice off a windshield.


[at dinner]

Me: *rubbing sugar on my gums*

Wife: What are you doing?

Me: I dunno…saw some cool guy doing it in the bathroom


“I don’t want no scrubs” a doctor says before she violates, like, a TON of health codes


Him: How was your day?

Me: (watching a movie about a shark trapped in a grocery store) Very busy.


if ur dating a gym rat ur single to me. what’s brad gonna do beat the shit out of me? oh really? oh ok yeah I was kidding lol literally a joke haha im sorry


For those of you keeping track, so far:

Regular wildfires
Volcano eruption
Radioactive wildfires

Whoever is out there saying “What’s the worst that could happen?”-



rt if you’d call your friend just to tell them that potatoes came to japan in 1600


Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t wear a blanket to work