Have you ever noticed that Santa brings better gifts to the kids that have rich parents?
I refuse to care about a royal baby in England while the Burger King remains heirless. Does no one remember the horrors of the Burger Wars
You Might Also Like
Diet starts today.
I need to lose about 3 years.
Elba: Bond. James Bond.
Villain: yeah but where are you ACTUALLY from though?
Sign of the times. 😒
#Hoarders #COVIDー19 #COVID #CoronaOutbreak
WIFE: why is there a chicken wearing glasses in our living room
ME: he’s my new friend
CHICKEN: *pecks at the floor and his glasses fall off*
ME: oh no where did Cluck Kent go
Friend: Have you seen a cockatoo?
Me: I’ve seen more than two.
me: what if music w
This poster that says “Green Day: Sold Out” is right in two ways
“That lady in the waiting room is picking her nose.”
“Good! That’ll save me some time. Send her right in.”
the best insult ever is “who is this clown” because
1. you’re calling them a clown
2. you’re saying they’re not even a well known clown