@OneFunnyMummy: I remember Daddy told me fairy tales can come true so any time an old lady offers me an apple or cookie I kill her and bury her in the woods
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@Go2Slp: 4: can we name the baby Yoko? Me: well Yoko is a Japanese name 4: if the baby is Japanese can we name it Yoko? Me: ... 4: ... Me: yes
@HeyZeus666: I’d never snoop through my girlfriend’s phone out of love, a deep respect and the inability to crack her password.
@QwertyJones3: Kid: Daddy can I give some of my candy to that duck? Me: No, ducks only eat things they find in nature, like bread.
@GrantTanaka: First man discovered fire. Then he invented the wheel. Then there was, like, 500 years where he just kept setting the wheel on fire.