@Parkerlawyer: I represented criminals before I switched to divorce law. Not one accused murderer or drug dealer ever scared me more than the soccer mom who just found out her husband is cheating on her with the PTA Vice President.
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@stevevsninjas: Therapist: We must remove our masks and express our true selves Yoga instructor: True Nutritionist: So wise Raccoon: This is bullshit, Alan
@realHamOnWry: As you grow older you'll start feeling your body getting stiffer. But don't worry ... it's just rigor mortis practicing for the big day.
@LuvPug: I guess a good thing that would happen to me if the zombie apocalypse ever occurred is that I'd finally start running