Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

@jpbrammer: I respect kiwis because they looked around, saw there weren't any mice on their island, and said "fine I'll do it"

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@xLiserx: I wear a French maid's outfit specifically to get OUT of doing housework.

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@AdamOfEarth: Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101. Today's class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you're here now, you failed.

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@ColoradoUgly: If someone gives you a gift and you didn't get them one, hand it back to them politely and say, "I don't want this shit.".

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@DilemmaEmmaEmma: Once when I had a broken toe, my mom told me to walk it off. When Princess Di died, she sobbed for a day.

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@daemonic3: "Dad, what caused the Great Fire of London?" [googles but can't get wifi] Well son, that's when Bach dropped the most fire mixtape of 1666

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