@Bob_Janke: I saw a guy that had a knife on his belt tonight and I thought, "now there's a guy that's really prepared to slice some cake"
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@blade_funner: Salad in a bag. What's next, spaghetti in your purse? Ham in your backpack? Lobster in your luggage?
@mommajessiec: [child gets stuck in claw machine] Me: [calls husband] “Hi honey, you’re not going to believe this, but I found us a babysitter for this evening.”