@TYLER_CMC: I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces down by the pond today
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@garrydavenport: To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow.
@samlymatters: *sees somebody on twitter who is more successful than me* I gotta get off this website *switches to Instagram and sees someone hotter than me* Man, fuck this app *goes on Facebook and sees a guy I went to middle school with is in jail for murder* There we go
@2tickytacky: Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor.