@thebeckyard: I see you are eating seafood at a midwest Chinese buffet. I, too, like to live dangerously.
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@simoncholland: You’d think for $40 they’d be able to cut anything but apparently my wife’s expensive craft scissors are not for opening ice pops.
@liv_thatsme: Some guy just tried to pay me for a Craigslist item with a check,but I'm not stupid. I made him pay me with a cold, hard, American $15 bill.
@mauleePillar: My toddler appears to know a magic spell to transform any space into a Hoarders episode.