@CutPics

I seriously can’t stop laughing 😂😂

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@wolfpupy

occult darling Dracula needs to get a grip. having his own dirt shipped in to sleep on, what a piece of shit. me, i’ll sleep on any dirt

@2Saddington

A bouncy castle with a low cement ceiling to teach you not to have too much fun

@Tuna_Lover

I’ve gotta go. This bottle of vodka isn’t gonna get arrested all by itself.

@fro_vo

god: *invents hammerhead shark*
nailhead shark: oh no

@Coastiefish

You think God hates crosses?

If my kid died on a roller coaster, then everyone started wearing roller coaster necklaces, I’d be pissed.

@KevinFarzad

Marry someone shorter than you so you can hide all the good snacks on the top shelf.