I’m Indian but not “able to read sanskrit” Indian so slow down there Raj, aside from the heart eye emojis I have no idea wtf your DM means.
i show up for work with my head stuck in a turtle neck sweater with eye holes cut in it
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But how long until spinach is trolling kale on social media?
All the time.
#PictureWednesday #health #nutrition #exercise
Dad: Want a donut?
Dad: *punches my leg* Hurts don’t it lol.
Me: *tasers him* HERTZ DON’T IT LOL.
Friend: I’m just not sure if she’s into me.
Me: Try faking your death. If she brings a date to your funeral, I’d say that’s a hard no.
I’ve written a musical called Fish. It’s very similar to Cats, although Memory’s a lot shorter.
“my dad’s thumb just came off”
“woah wait its back on again”
“great he’s stole my nose now”
im phoning the police
My shower curtain always knows when I need a hug.