Bloody Foreigner, coming over here, wanting to know what love is.
“I smell carrots. Do you smell carrots? ’cause I smell carrots…”
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“The only way I’d go to a Justin Bieber concert, is if it was a Jay-Z concert” – my 9 yr old daughter
Me: One large buttery popcorn please!
Him: Ma’am you have to buy a ticket to get into the movies…
Me: One large buttery popcorn TO GO SIR
If you find a fry on the floor and you don’t share it with me, we can’t be friends. Don’t touch me. Monster.
House arrest? Some people are so freaking lucky!
You’re a dog person? *Throws a stick* Well? Aren’t you going to run after it or are you cool with being a normal human that’s also a liar?
Out of curiosity, where were you all thinking of moving after you’re done destroying the Earth? ‘Cause I assume you’ve thought that through.
“No use crying over spilled milk” was coined by someone who didn’t have a 3yo who played with her milk. They didn’t have to deal with asking the 3yo to stop playing with her milk. And they def didn’t have to clean the spilled milk.
So you’re damn right I cried over spilled milk.
Tinder is crazy these days why aren’t you following us yet? 😂😭