@LurkAtHomeMom: I start each day with a green smoothie. Wait, no, the bartender's saying it's called a "Mojito."
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@canadasandra: if he likes you he will let you know. if he wants to talk to you, he'll text. do nothing. you're a beautiful object. pretend you're a tree
@nbadag: NASA: what makes u qualified for our mission to mars? ME: i desperately want to be shot into deep space, where there are definitely no geese