I tell my boyfriend I love him all the time and all he says are things like “make a left in 300 feet” and “you’ve reached your destination.”

You Might Also Like


Do you think when the Hamburglar robs people he holds them at bun point?


When someone begins, “With all due respect,” stop them right there, because that is as good as the sentence gets for you.


What can I bring to your party?

Friend: A six pack.

[does 10 crunches]



If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.


Wife: You guys never eat the food before it goes bad!

Also my wife: *buys 40lbs of grapes because they’re on sale*


If you guys were impressed by the “but wait, it’s actually cake” thing, wait until I tell you about the guy I dated who turned out to be a Thanksgiving turkey


Currently accomplishing an astonishing amount of nothing, at a blistering rate.


I’m getting tired of always having to slowly raise my hand every time someone angrily asks, “Who does something like that?!”


A friend’s father had been using LOL to mean lots of love. This explained such messages as “Your grandmother’s in the hospital. LOL.”