Saw a guy this morning covered from head to toe in camouflage and sporting a fluorescent safety jacket…
You can’t have it both ways mate
I texted my wife with “ROTFHAHA” & she replied with “LMAO” so I don’t think she understands that I’m having a heart attack.
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why dont they ever have plagues of endangered animals, like a plague of panda bears. oh no our entire bamboo crop is gone haha
if you like christmas so much why don’t you merry it
I am 30 minutes into home schooling my 6 year old. I suggest that all school teachers are paid £1m per year from now on.
An alien makes contact. I take it home, give it a sandwich. Then ice cream. And then, to show we’re an advanced race, an ice cream sandwich.
Say what you want about serial killers but you can’t argue with their work ethic.
Since it would take human contact to get Ebola. Everyone on Twitter is safe.
You know that runny food on your plate that touches all the other food? That’s you, butting into a conversation.
You’re creamed corn.
As a little girl I dreamt of being Belle so I could have that beautiful yellow gown- As a grown woman I want to be Belle so I can be locked away in an enchanted castle where the dishes clean themselves.
guys please don’t talk about the healthcare vote I’ve got it tivoed