@_babyfrog

i think about this illustration by cécile dormeau a lot

You Might Also Like

@junejuly12

Why run with scissors when you can run with bananas which are far less dangerous and also tasty snacks.

@howe007

Keep ignoring my texts and I swear to God I’ll leave a voicemail.

@onion_an

Doctor: Your son is lactose intolerant

Me: Oh my god

[later that day]

Me [runs into field and punches a cow]: That’s for inventing milk

@HatfieldAnne

First 20 minutes driving through farm country: “Isn’t this pretty?”
Next 3 hours: *can’t remember a life before corn*

@HatfieldAnne

You missed Mass online, which isn’t great, but you can watch Ben Hur now for partial credit.

@Ygrene

What if life is just a big test to see how well we all treat birds?

“I just happen to love birds!” I yell out the window unconvincingly

@samdunsiger

My autocorrect changed “graphic designer” to “groaning designer.” For once, it’s not wrong.

@shanethevein

I see dead people.

Well technically they’re stupid people, but give me a few minutes.

@Scottcrates

My New Year’s resolution is to stop making so many typos.

Wish me lick.