A gaggle of geese. A murder of crows. A nope of laundry.
You Might Also Like
Why run with scissors when you can run with bananas which are far less dangerous and also tasty snacks.
Keep ignoring my texts and I swear to God I’ll leave a voicemail.
Doctor: Your son is lactose intolerant
Me: Oh my god
[later that day]
Me [runs into field and punches a cow]: That’s for inventing milk
First 20 minutes driving through farm country: “Isn’t this pretty?”
Next 3 hours: *can’t remember a life before corn*
You missed Mass online, which isn’t great, but you can watch Ben Hur now for partial credit.
What if life is just a big test to see how well we all treat birds?
“I just happen to love birds!” I yell out the window unconvincingly
My autocorrect changed “graphic designer” to “groaning designer.” For once, it’s not wrong.
I see dead people.
Well technically they’re stupid people, but give me a few minutes.
My New Year’s resolution is to stop making so many typos.
Wish me lick.