took my mom to detective pikachu she said she liked the “garlic pokemon”
I think COVID-19 is just a ploy by Netflix to get people to stay in and actually watch Adam Sandler movies.
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ME: I wanna be the very best like no one ever was
Prof Oak: [handing me Pokedex] there are 150-
ME: sorry how much work is this gonna be
Saw a “Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar” that went out of business. Apparently he was the only one.
The postman told me he’s off to Spain tomorrow so I asked was he going to Parcelona and he ignored what I believe to be my best joke of 2014
I estimate 70% of my work conversations are just me quoting made up statistics.
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
LOL at people who “love seafood” but won’t even eat a silverfish
2007: OBAMA’S COMIN’ FER YER GUNS
2010: any day
2012: ok now
2013: i think..
In Jurassic Park, the scene where the raptor opens the door to the kitchen and stalks the kids, Spielberg had originally wanted to have the dinosaur bake a tray of Macarons as a display of its intelligence, but writer Michael Crichton insisted that it would be “too much”.