@robfee

I think the Ice Bucket Challenge is a giant waste of water *falls asleep in the shower for 2 hours*

You Might Also Like

@LoveNLunchmeat

Everybody looks down on Pinterest until they need a good recipe for homemade organic edible panties.

@IamEnidColeslaw

the women in tampon commercials should switch places with the women in antidepressant commercials

@alispagnola

Facebook definitely needs to change their name. Pretty sure books aren’t supposed to make you dumber.

@TravLeBlanc

Mary and Joseph chose to have Jesus in a barn rather than spend Christmas with their families.

@nice_mustard

“lassie i don’t see anyone at the bottom of this well. are you sure-” timmy felt the paws on his back. his eyes widened as he understood…

@kidphonic

Fear of hospitals isn’t irrational, I went to 1 once for a stomach-thing & I’ve had a kid following me around calling me “mom” ever since.

@SincerelyMen

Almost a billion dollars have been spent on campaign ads so far. It’s a good thing our schools & economy are in great shape or I’d be pissed

@Angibangie

Tilda Swinton is the last person on Earth, having solely survived the apocalypse. A tumbleweed rolls by. She picks it up and eats it. ‘Delicious,’ she says, as she gets down on all fours then gallops into the night.

@FartInASkillet

Out of curiosity I decided to look at Pinterest, and I’ve decided it’s basically cyber-hoarding…

@daemonic3

Tried to make jokes on this plane about the other passengers’ carryon bags, but they went over their heads