@Gooooats: I think this coworker I’ve been working with for 13 years is starting to suspect I don’t know his name.
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@pplwtching: Neighbor just yelled at me for playing in his sprinkler. Note to self, I should wear clothes next time.
@TakeForGrantd: i watched my wife fall off a cliff... your whole world can change in a matter of seconds. mine almost did.
@joefrog1: If anyone is interested I'll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 6:00pm until I get escorted out by security.
@decentbirthday: Friend: check out my conscience shell Me: you mean conch? *holds up to ear* Shell: you saw those kids get in that van and you did nothing