@JocMaxedOut: I thought about giving up my sexual innuendo tweets but it's too hard.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@azianqueenbee: You know you are drunk when you put your food in the microwave and enter your PIN number.
@sarcasticmommy4: I'm just a mom on winter break, standing in front of my kids' school asking, "HOW BIG OF A CHECK DO I NEED TO WRITE FOR YOU TO RE-OPEN?"
@PhuckinCody: BANK ROBBER: everyone on the ground and drop whatever is in your hands!! ME: [holding a $9 Starbucks coffee, a tear rolls down my cheek] no