@JamieGreenlees: I thought it was impossible to do 450 push ups in a minute until I discovered lying
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@pplwtching: As a precautionary measure, the last time my mom asked me to help with her phone, I made sure to delete the Twitter app.
@Dawn_M_: [making small talk at a party] Hair products are so expensive these days. Do you think that's why poor people look like shit?"
@dmc1138: Friend: “Any plans this weekend?” Me: “I’m going to Alcoholics Unanimous.” Friend: “I think you mean ‘Anonymous’.” Me: “Nope.”
@aholealex: "Damn girl are you a dam, girl? Cuz your water just broke haha" yes we will go to the hospital in a minute honey, jesus christ im tweeting