@2tickytacky: I threw a dart at a map to pick a vacation spot and shattered the hell out of my phone screen.
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@BoomBoomBetty: Please don’t exorcise the demon possessing me if it’s really good at things like small engine repair or has a secret recipe for a perfect pie crust.
@better_off_dad: God: I made the sky a canvas, the sun & the clouds an ever changing painting of colorful beauty. Devil: I made potato chips.
@internetluke: [vet office] Hi I am here to drop my cat off. Just a check-up. *doctor walks out* "Hi, I am Dr. Curiosity we- I'll take my cat elsewhere
@ohen39: [after sitting 21 hours for a portrait drawing] painter: I'm done me: ok now let's do a silly one