@2tickytacky: I threw a dart at a map to pick a vacation spot and shattered the hell out of my phone screen.
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@caliluvgirl77: Woke up naked in my neighbor's boat again. I've got to stop watching titanic when I'm drinking.
@envydatropic: *Switches between 4 different news channels for an hour* Has literally no idea what's going on in the world
@SortaBad: If you watch Sleeping Beauty backwards it's about a prince who was so charming he kissed his girlfriend and she fainted for 17 years