Last night I found out you can make a lot of people REALLY angry if you dress in a Star Trek costume and also carry a light saber
I totally baby-proofed my house, but one still got in.
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you question the benefit of a $1000 stimulus payment and I challenge you to name a problem 1k donuts can’t solve
I can’t believe this Avengers movie will be the last one before the next one comes out.
“& what are your areas of weakness?”
[leans in so close my nose touches the interviewers]
“I don’t like people touching my nose.”
Does it creep anyone else out that Donald Duck eats a turkey dinner on ‘Once Upon A Christmas’? Isn’t that a form of cannibalism?
Elon Musk: *launches car into space*
Me: why don’t you do something for economically poor class
Elon Musk: *launches bicycle into space*
Got an extension cord, and moved the microwave right into bed with me. This 2015 is looking like a good one already.
There are 5 things I really hate:
2) People who can’t spell.
4) Whyte people
Sometimes I wonder if cannibals see hot tubs as broth for people soup.
The Hurricane came through here like a tornado
-Lady on the News just now
I don’t want to live on this planet anymore