My daughter can open just about any front door using a credit card, so your kids honor roll certificate seems a little useless right now.
I USED MY WIFE’S VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO AND NOW I CAN’T STOP YELLING!
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Top Five Accountant Taboos:
5. Unreconciled difference
4. Doesn’t foot & crossfoot
3. No journal entry support
2. Cooking the books
@funTweeters you guys are my favorite thing about Twitter. I suggest we get pant less and hug this out like men.
why this chick look like a soccer player posing for senior pictures
Mrs. Kowalski left the class mortified, unable to believe just how badly she’d misinterpreted what they had meant by Pole dancing.
[The Matrix, dog version]
Dog Morpheus: Take the grey pill, the story ends but if you take the grey pill I’ll show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes
Dog Neo: *Already eaten both pills* RABBITS?!
Cats love it when you give them a mohawk
It’s bikini season, so you’re allowed to shoot bikinis as long as you have a permit.
I get my best cardio at the grocery store because I never make a list
And back to isle 3 and repeat