@_steamy_mac: I used to skateboard 15 hours a day and now I have to stop and rest half way through putting my socks on.
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@DepecheALAmode: I bet Matt McConaughey isnt aware he's in movies. His agent drops him off & hes like "Ha-Allright..this is my life now? Cool camera broski!"
@Spaziotwat: As a parent it’s my job to shout “Be careful!” at my children just after they’ve fallen over
@HumanPog: one time i went to the bathroom and i didn't know my xbox headset was still on and the other gamers heard me give myself a pep talk
@Gupton68: Me: Where are the kids? Wife: Mom’s Me: *getting excited* Really?! Are you thinking what I’m thinking? W: Almost certainly not