@McGrumpenstein: I want an ice cream sundae so big that it edges into mondae
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@BonaFideIntent: Keep your friends close & your enemies, in your trunk. Unless you're crossing a border. Then don't do that.
@dafloydsta: FRIEND: Just let her down easy ME: Ok [later] ME: *jumping in bouncy castle* I WANT A DIVORCE, KAREN
@Dawn_M_: Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
@3sunzzz: 15: I'm starving! There's nothing to eat. What are you having for lunch? Me: grapes 15: Nice! We have grapes?! Me: *sips wine* nope