
Waking on campus and some girl said, “I like you a lot.” And I turned around and said thank you and realized she talking to the guy with her
I want to be rich enough to leave the house-sitter notes like: “If the cheetah looks bored, jog him on the treadmill. He can watch Friends.”
Waking on campus and some girl said, “I like you a lot.” And I turned around and said thank you and realized she talking to the guy with her
No YOU sober up, lamp.
“So You’ve Been Drinking and Think You Can Dance” now that’s a reality show I would watch.
So, I bought a wok to cook healthy food and I have to say, these french fries don’t taste any different.
[bank robbery]
Me: this is a hold up
[later at the police station]
Cop: wait, so you werenโt one of the robbers?
Me: [just likes to say what things are] this is a police station
I doubt that my secrets are safe in your hands given that the raccoon was able to steal a corndog from you the other day.
I had a sex dream about my wife last night…except her hair was black instead of blonde…and she looked a lot like my hot neighbor Karen.
I have a book to read on
overcoming procrastination.I bought it in 2007.
All units be on the lookout, suspect is armed with hunky shoulders, soft eyes and dreamboat hair. I don’t even remember what he did anymore.
My daughter is late coming down to breakfast. Her 3 strips of bacon are getting cold. I mean 2 strips. Sorry, 1 strip. She’ll have cereal.