@Jenn_H_Scott: I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning but I also want to be happy
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@ewfeez: The best thing about being Bane has gotta be that he can just slice a hardboiled egg straight into his pie hole
@_cingraham: So, a shipment of crickets for the lizard arrived via FedEx today. It was my first time ordering bulk crickets off the internet, and I naively assumed that they would be in like, a bag or some other contraption to facilitate easy transfer to another container. They were not.
@david8hughes: Cop: we know you're in there. Me in a French accent: I am not ere, I am in France. Cop: when will you be back? Me: je ne comprends pas