I want to grab some Mexican tonight and then maybe have some dinner with him

You Might Also Like


Richard and friend arguing

Richard makes good point

Richard’s friend says mark my words

Richard Marx


Her: what’s your favorite thing about our date tonight?

Me: that it’s almost over


Please don’t put a coin on my mouth when I die; I plan to wander the shores of the River Styx for 100 years & finally get that bikini body.


Him: How does my football throw look to you?

Me: Like you’re good at science…


I’ve been ignoring these dirty dishes for 47 minutes and they still haven’t taken the hint. It’s just awkward now…


Name’s Bond. James Bond. *Drinks martini* Jame’s Bond. Names Bond. *drinks another martini* Bame’s Jond. *Drinks 1 more* THIS IS MY SONG WOO


[Wizard of Oz characters Now]

Scarecrow: professor
Tin Man: fell in love
Lion: public speaker
Toto: still blessing the rains down in africa


If you don’t think kids will find literally anything to fight about you’ve clearly never witnessed an argument over the colors orange and purple


Raccoons always look like they are in the middle of telling a story about how big something was.