McRib stands for My Chemical Romance Is Back
I want to lose some weight but I love food & hate exercise. I’m really stuck between a rock & a fat place here.
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Trench coats are dangerous. How do you know who’s a detective, a flasher, or two muppets? You just don’t know. YOU JUST DON’T KNOW!!
me: *goes outside during the day* why is the moon is so spicy
“Donatello” ~ Italian man telling me to keep a secret
me: *on my 100th crunch at the gym*
employee: ur getting cheeto dust on the weights
Just how hairy was the person who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
If you don’t know the difference between a spree killer, a mass murderer, and a serial killer, we can’t be friends.
Me: If you truly are a ghost why don’t you move this object
Ghost: If you truly are a human why don’t you get your shit together
J.R.R. Tolkien invented an entire language for the elves but where the hobbits live is called Hobbiton.