@CantWaitToNap: “I want you inside me,” I whispered to the tray of warm brownies.
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@dafloydsta: Whenever I get a "Final Notice" letter from a bill collector, I assume this concludes our business transaction.
@joejwest: [tattoo parlour] ME: I'd like a tattoo as a tribute to my dad. He loved gardening & now he's dead, so maybe like a skeleton mowing the lawn?
@PetrickSara: Yes, I put a semicolon in a tweet. What else am I supposed to do with my English degree?
@obijawn: Interviewer: How many words can you type a minute? Me: Given a full minute I could probably type any word