i was a competitive fencer in high school and spent 20+ hours a week training and many weekends at tournaments, which absolutely destroyed any chance of a social life. thats right. i can literally say “when you were partying, i studied the blade”

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I met my wife on Tinder

* After 8 months of our marriage*


My husband pays me the highest compliments. Like “WOW! Look at you. You’re dressed.”


I wish I had a black stallion, so any time I got really pissed, I could angrily ride along the ocean.


It’s great you can perform open-heart surgery, but what I really need is someone who can correctly put tissue paper in a gift bag


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Except for Charlie there, who scored a nice sundress.


I love you just the way you are.

Though I do have a few suggestions.