@DirtMcTurd: I was getting chased by a man yelling "STOP, POLICE!" & I yelled "YES YES STOP POLICE! THEY'RE OUT OF CONTROL!" But he kept chasing me
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@FrogAvalanche: Baby Lawyer: Did you steal the victim's nose? Accused: No. *cries into palms Baby Judge: O, great, he's disappeared again.
@daemonic3: I'm going to run errands, need anything? "Yes, some new light bulbs" Why, our current bulbs are too heavy? "And a good divorce lawyer"
@Scorpio1080: Black Friday: Because Only in America, People trample others for Sales the day after being thankful for what they already have
@Pirate_nurse: Well, Norah on FB has decided to continue her thankfulness through December and I have decided to key her car after dinner