@simoncholland: I was going to sign this permission slip to let my daughter watch The Grinch at school but I haven't heard back from North Korea yet.
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@dave_cactus: [restaurant] WAITRESS: Would you like a lunch menu or a dinner menu? ME: No thanks. I don't eat menus.
@HomeProbably: I was asked to babysit once but it didn't go very well. You're not meant to sit on them.
@KyleMcDowell86: Me: my shoulder is sore DR: I told u stop throwing rocks at the Sun [walking out of office] (looks at Sun) I guess ur safe *squints* for now