Treat your woman like a princess. Spice up your relationship & have her kidnapped. Then do mushrooms & swim through the sewers to find her.
I was just reading a list of 50 things you should do before you die.
And it’s quite surprising that “Yell for help ” is not one of them!!!
You Might Also Like
It’s been a horrible morning so far. My ex got run over by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver 🙁
Age is just a number until your back goes out picking up a sock.
UK: we call them films, after the traditional recording process using photographic film
USA: WE CALL THEM MOVIES BECAUSE THEM PHOTOS MOVE
Instagram: “Look at my sushi!”
Vine: “Look at my sushi for six seconds!”
Can we speak to the Mayans and have the ending of the world earlier than planned? Preferably before the premier of the new Twilight movie.
Girlfriend: Stop lying around on the couch all day.
Me: But you said we needed to start conserving energy.
SAVAGE AF LMAOOOOOO
I’m having an out-of-money experience.
Ladies, if a guy tells you “Leggings aren’t pants,” tell him “You’re welcome.”