@Dutch_50: I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it.
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@stuckinaportal: sexyaardvark69 [username taken] sexywombat69 [username taken] sexyplatypus69 [username taken] sorry this might take a while...
@HenpeckedHal: Today my carelessness made someone late for work. He could lose his job, his home. Sir, if you're reading this, I can't replace the extra .74 seconds you sat at that green light, but your honk--still echoing in my soul--serves as a harsh reminder that my actions have consequences
@charliedelta7: I like taking my cats out for a drive to show them roadkill so they know what will happen if they ever leave me.
@julietactually: him: what are u wearing me: overalls him: do u want to slip into something more comfortable me: more comfortable than overalls? wtf