@ehdannyboy: I was running for a bus but I just missed it and had to pretend i didn't want it in the first place so kept running now I'm in Belgium
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@katewhiteshark: *getting murdered* wait stop moving. im trying to get the dog filter on both of us
@Skoogeth: [first guy to be sent to hell] guy: so it’s just you and me? satan: yup guy: damn satan: *kicks rock with cloven hoof* yup guy: i really hope more shitty people die soon satan: *sigh* yup
@velweb: 12 yr. old daughter: My friend Samantha said she thinks you're handsome. Me: Aww. That's cute. How about her mom? Has she said anything?
@EyeSeeYou619: Having a bummer day? Here's an out of context Spider-man comic book scene that made me laugh.