A LICKY BOOM BOOM DOWN!
I was using a q-tip and went in too deep in my ear, and now I can’t do math.
You Might Also Like
My one weakness? Probably my unshakable belief that, despite a total lack of training, I’ll be able to do karate if I’m ever in a fight.
Me: I did a line!
Grandma: you’re supposed to say Bingo
Me: *wiping coke off my nose* what
I assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
Hey Doorknob, if I wanted something in my life that was hairy, condescending and using me for food, I would get a cat.
GOD: I call those trees and plants
ANGEL: very beautiful
GOD: ya I’m gonna make some people allergic to them
ANGEL: dude who hurt you
I say tomato.
You say tomahto.
Then I whip out my Webster’s dictionary and show you how you pronounced it wrong.
People who pronounce didn’t as.”dih-in’t” please doh-on’t.