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@4SLars: I was voted, "most likely to interfere with a corpse," in high school.
@natedog2049: People that are stoned shouldn't throw glass houses.
@FunnyTunes: Me : I have changed my mind.
Wife : Hope the new one is working.
@CheryeDavis: Even the worst hangover wears off by 5:00. Coincidence? I think not.
@DaddyBeerGuy: Hey dude, there's 10 empty urinals in here no need to stand right next to...
And now he's talking to me!
Someone call 911!
@danielvisme: Her: I just read this really funny thing on FB.
Me: No you didn't.