@salmarch79: I went around the block with my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.
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@stephenjmolloy: Wife: "Do you want to watch Batman Forever?" Me: "I'll watch it for a couple of hours." Wife: "I hate you."
@LeahPeah4: From now on non fiction and fiction books shall be referred to as Fo Reals and Not Fo Reals. Pls pass along,
@ChiefTwittler: If I die, bury me with fire extinguishers. Because: Hell
@CrapLocalNews: Breaking news:
@Sassafrantz: If I'm ever reincarnated I hope I get to be a bear because I'll be like "stop playing dead, I used to be human. That shits not gonna work!"
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