[My Dad If He Were A Bartender]
ME: Can I have a beer?
DAD: I don’t know, CAN you?
ME: Ugh, just make me a drink.
DAD: Poof, you’re a drink.
ME: Come on!
DAD: Where are we going?
ME: I’m putting you in a home.
DAD: We’re already in someones home.
I went for a run today. Of course it was a beer run, but I was sweating.
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Me: idk…maybe cuz they’re baked
Kid: I wanna get baked
Me: me too kid… me too
ME: [getting pistol whipped] hey everyone, look at this idiot who thinks his gun is a whip