@RexHuppke: I went into Whole Foods tonight and yelled, "Somebody's Labradoodle just jumped out of a parked Subaru!" and everyone ran out.
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@yoyoha: there should be a jail just for people that don't break apart kit kats before they eat them
@DaddyJew: Me:I gotta go home. Im bleeding & my computers broken Boss:looks like u just slammed ur head thru the computer screen Me:what is this CSI?
@racistduck: Me: Got any bread? Barman: No Got any bread? No Got any bread? No. Ask again, I nail your beak to the bar Got any nails? No Got any bread?