@david8hughes: I went to the movies with a girl last night. I paid for the tickets & the snacks, & anything else I can before she reports her card stolen.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@HomeWithPeanut: Me: What's a six-letter word for "unhurriedly?" Wife: Slowly. Me: [sigh] W-h-a-t...i-s...a...s-i-x...
@JediGigi: Him: This is not what I had in mind when I suggested role play Me: [in Boba Fett helmet] Shut up and put Captain Solo in the cargo hold
@realHamOnWry: What did I learn getting fired today? Never walk behind your boss, poke his bald spot and yell, "Hey, you've got a hole in your haircut".
@Skullcat: Hate to brag, but a cute fireman gave me his number today. It's only 3 digits & he said it's only for emergencies, but I know what he meant