@jessokfine: I wipe my counters with raw chicken breasts because I refuse to have weak children.
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@THEDUTHCHESS: Logged into FB told Gemma her wedding pics are beautiful. Logged into Twitter to tell you she looked like a fat man in drag and I hate her.
@monicaheisey: "the uk couldn't POSSIBLY leave" "trump couldn't POSSIBLY be president" "we couldn't POSSIBLY start eating each other out of necessity"