Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin.
I wish I had half the determination and persistence of Adobe reader updater.
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[being held back from my burning house by firemen]
get off me you bastar- MY VIN DIESEL BODY PILLOW IS STILL IN THERE
never under-estimate the power of getting a new phone number
I was losing too many socks doing laundry so I started zip tying them together, now I’m losing them in pairs.
Ashley Madison website is having problems. But instead of addressing them directly, it’ll just look for a younger hotter website on the side
OMG you guys. I just got asked out. By a real live guy. I don’t know what to do!? Play dead? Duck and roll?
I’m so confused!!
If you don’t mind..
Just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
Will keep you posted.
I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the shit out of each other because it’s negative.
Contrary to what my voicemail will lead you to believe, I am in fact not sorry for missing your call