@beccafacexo: I wish I was a bear, I'd be playing with my bear friends in the woods, not stuck in an elevator with these idiots. Am I talking out loud?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ineedaballrub: I just Googled 'Nicolas Cage jokes' and it showed me a list of every film he's been in. Well played, Google.
@ndiquote: interviewer: one last question, name the coldest place on earth? me: my ex’s heart interviewer: me: interviewer: [holding back tears] you’re hired !!!
@Pork_Chop_Hair: 5yo: knock knock Me: 5: Mom, knock KNOCK Me: 5: I said KNOCK KNOCK!! Me: Sorry, you know how I feel about answering the door, buddy.