@WheelTod: I wonder if Eric Clapton really thought she looked Wonderful or was it just the 20th outfit she'd tried & he just wanted to get to the party
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@QwertyJones3: [kid watching an episode of The Flintstones for the first time] "They made a show based on vitamins? This is dumb."
@yoyoha: How long does Netflix have to be down before they send someone to your house to stroke your hair & tell you everything's going to be alright
@FatherWithTwins: Cashier: Need to see some ID Me: You get a lot of 20yo guys buying tampons, diapers, grapes & whiskey? Cashier: Yup Me: Ok, here you go then
@vladchoc: Nice try, theatre ad. But some of us don't need to put our phones on silent, for we have prevented calls with our deplorable personalities.