@JohnLyonTweets: "I wonder if there's a word for a person who inspires you," I mused.
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@Mostly_Cheese: [reviewing security cam footage to see what's eating out of my trash at night] mother of god it's me
@jonnysun: so im jus chilig on a ledge premtendig to be gargoyle when these firemen show up tellig me dont jump but they got a big trampoline so idk
@TheMichaelRock: My 8yo knows exactly how many hours are left until Christmas but can't remember to flush the toilet.